Freely Dreaming

on
Artist Unknown

I don't want it.

This life?

I don't want it.

I am not eager to wake up.  I am not looking forward to putting forth the effort it takes to make it through Monday - Friday.
I try to think of all the ones that certainly bring me joy, and they can bring me joy in a new life.  
They are invited and included if they want to be.

I do get excited about the weekend, though, but even that makes me sad because - only looking forward to the weekend is like living less than half of my life. 
Also, I am NOT suicidal.  

I do NOT want to take my own life.  

I just feel like if this is all there is, I'm good.  
I've seen enough of this.  I've felt enough of this.  I have done enough of this.  
I am ready to move on... Move forward.

It's not death that I want; I really want a new life.  
I want this life to die so I can start over.  I would keep the same people I have great connections with... That, I don't want to change.

I want to change myself - my experience - the world I live in.  
I don't want to scrape by with no room to think of my passions and no time to work on the life I dream of because I am exhausted from the life I have, which is a blessing, but...
I know, I know.  "But" negates everything before it.  

Yet still, I want freedom and to get freedom and the amenities I would like to have access to, which comes at a price.  
So, to get freedom, you have to work hard.  Working hard is feeling like slavery cause the math is NEVER math'n. 
Freedom is the only bill I am trying to pay in full; meanwhile, my current expenses are taking more than enough from the FREEDOM FUND.  
I've eliminated every line item that could deter me from my goal, and I am still working hard & praying to get so far ahead that I never have to look back.  Maybe my hard work will provide freedom for my younger family members...  

I hope to acquire generational wealth while I am here, in hopes of freeing my bloodline from this way of life.  I hope they love working and have the ability to do what they love to sustain the life of their dreams.
I pray they never know what it feels like to work hard while hoping to afford the luxury of dreaming.