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| Artist @smard.art |
Memorial Day weekend 2026, I have nothing planned, but I have a list of things that I need to do, all while lacking the motivation to do them.
I am officially in a funk! I don't feel like doing anything but thinking and restructuring myself. I don't want to be concerned or consumed by other people right now, and it seems like the only way to completely go within is to go without.
What does go without mean? I honestly don't know. I am figuring this out in real time. I have no idea what I am doing right now, but I am pulled to all that FEELS right. I don't want to be anywhere with anyone or do anything that makes me feel guilty. Yet still, I also feel a whisper that I must surrender to the experiences and then decide if I want to continue or walk away. Sometimes the thought of the experience overwhelms me so much that I don't even bother doing anything.
I am calling this my frozen phase.
I've relived this phase many times, so now it is time to live this part differently. Instead of icing out the world, I feel pulled to lean more into life. Go harder. Don't focus on what has been lost, accept that the path is clearing, and while there are twists and turns, perhaps it all is leading me to the life of my dreams. The only way to know is to keep moving, keep pushing ahead, stay focused.
What do I want to focus on?
Getting better! Mentally & physically are my top priorities. My hope is that I excel in all other areas because my mind and body are in harmony.
Knowing that there is work to be done and actually doing the work is the mental struggle that I am having.
And THIS is the beauty of writing... I see myself clearly complaining about some things that only I have control over.
Ain't nothing to it, but to do it! Time to get it DONE!